2 Montgomery Street
The Village
East Kilbride
Lanarkshire
01355 279522
When those cheeky chappies at Lonely Planet recently described East Kilbride as "the last place on earth you'd ever want to visit" in their guidebook to Scotland, offended locals turned out to defend their concrete-tastic town.
Personally, I've always found Lonely Planet to be pretty spot-on when it comes to travel, so I was intrigued to see if East Kilbride really is up there with Kabul and Beirut in terms of attractiveness.
I dutifully slung on my sling-backs and packed a flak-jacket, eager to find the truth. And what better way to judge the character of a place than by its pubs? After all, there's nothing like getting the beer goggles on to help you see the, er, facts.
Tucked away in East Kilbride's Village, with its old-style stone exterior and pretty windows, Legends could easily be mistaken for a tea shop.
But once inside the newly opened lounge, you'll be under no illusions as to which time-zone you're in - it's the early '90s, of course.
I was greeted by Jarvis Cocker and Paul Weller on my arrival at Legends, and though I'd love to be able to report that the pair were in East Kilbride to showcase their new supergroup, unfortunately they were adorning the walls rather than the stage.
Alongside a bizarre collection of stars from the film and music biz, that is.
As it sank in where the Legends link came in - hardly the most original theme - I predictably spotted pictures of James Dean, Audrey Hepburn, the Rat Pack and Marilyn Monroe.
But Sylvester Stallone and Natalie Imbruglia?
No, I'm sorry, that's taking things too far, especially when set off by such cheap and nasty frames.
Even East Kilbride's own legends - Lorraine Kelly, Ally McCoist, The Jesus And Mary Chain - would have been more appropriate.
The rest of the decor is also a disappointment for such a new place, especially one rumoured to have had cash ploughed in by said Super Ally, with boring pine tables and chairs, an artex ceiling and, strangest of all, fake-teak laminated walls.
As the local Ronan Keating impersonator stood up to sing at the karaoke, I was starting to think Lonely Planet had got it right until my fellow drinkers came to the rescue.
Though not the first destination I'd choose when planning my weekend, Legends is not the last thanks to the well dressed crowd of easy-going punters who saved the day with their banter and refusal to take anything too seriously.
A quality all too rare in most city centre bars.
And there's no danger of bumping into under-agers here as it's clearly aimed at over-21s with a bit of cash. Although with such reasonably priced drinks and free table service thrown in, almost anyone can afford to be a legend.
Drinks: Pint of lager, £1.95; Budweiser, £2.60; spirit and mixer, £1.50.
Food: Served all day
Open: Every day, 11am - midnight
Details
01355 279522
But once inside the newly opened lounge, you'll be under no illusions as to which time-zone you're in - it's the early '90s, of course.
I was greeted by Jarvis Cocker and Paul Weller on my arrival at Legends, and though I'd love to be able to report that the pair were in East Kilbride to showcase their new supergroup, unfortunately they were adorning the walls rather than the stage.
Alongside a bizarre collection of stars from the film and music biz, that is.
As it sank in where the Legends link came in - hardly the most original theme - I predictably spotted pictures of James Dean, Audrey Hepburn, the Rat Pack and Marilyn Monroe.
But Sylvester Stallone and Natalie Imbruglia?
No, I'm sorry, that's taking things too far, especially when set off by such cheap and nasty frames.
Even East Kilbride's own legends - Lorraine Kelly, Ally McCoist, The Jesus And Mary Chain - would have been more appropriate.
The rest of the decor is also a disappointment for such a new place, especially one rumoured to have had cash ploughed in by said Super Ally, with boring pine tables and chairs, an artex ceiling and, strangest of all, fake-teak laminated walls.
As the local Ronan Keating impersonator stood up to sing at the karaoke, I was starting to think Lonely Planet had got it right until my fellow drinkers came to the rescue.
Though not the first destination I'd choose when planning my weekend, Legends is not the last thanks to the well dressed crowd of easy-going punters who saved the day with their banter and refusal to take anything too seriously.
A quality all too rare in most city centre bars.
And there's no danger of bumping into under-agers here as it's clearly aimed at over-21s with a bit of cash. Although with such reasonably priced drinks and free table service thrown in, almost anyone can afford to be a legend.
Drinks: Pint of lager, £1.95; Budweiser, £2.60; spirit and mixer, £1.50.
